So, my first week of Detox looked a little like this:
Week 1: 1 Peter 2:21-25 – “…entrusted himself to the one who judges justly…”
- 11th – It was my first day back from up north. I wasn’t too successful in getting up at 5:00, but I got up in a enough time to read and think about Acts 7. Spent time concentrating on 1 Peter 2:21-25. Read first chapter in Crazy Love. Started the cleanse and felt hungry all day. Did a very slow 5 mile run, first day training with the Polar…overall feel pretty good for starting everything today. We’ll see how tomorrow goes.
- 12th – I started the day asking God, “What do you want to rid me of?” His response seems to be coming by allowing circumstances in my life to prove two things: Pride & Lack of Trust in Him. I guess when you are asking God to detox your soul, He doesn’t play around and He doesn’t waste your time making you feel like a cute, sweet, nice person. Rather he shows you the addiction to self that is in you, at least that’s what he is doing for me. Another thing he did…let me back track. I started training with a Polar Watch (the science of training). In a nutshell, my watch was telling me something I didn’t realize – in my runs, I had been running too fast, sure I was learning distance, and for someone my size, the time wasn’t horrible…but my heart monitor was telling me, “you’re running too fast, you’re doing a lot of work that is resulting very little in your body…” It was like God was speaking to me through that dang watch…Slow down, and make it count! Anyway, I continued to focus on 1 Peter 2:21-25 and study Acts 7.
- 13th – Today started good. Really opened my heart up in repentance asking God to not just make the pride and lack of trust go away, but to literally up-root it, no matter how much it hurts, yank it out by the roots! Finished Chapter 2 in Crazy Love – right now, there may not be a more appropriate book for me – WoW! Slowly prayed through 1 Peter 2:21-25, and thought about how much I truly want to believe what it says, but how often my life does not prove that I really believe it – My prayer is that these verse are not simply memorized, but becomes my reality! On another note, had a good little 40 minute work out…I really can’t help to believe that God is using this whole heart rate training as a parable for my life…slow down – but how?
- 14th – Had no desire to get up today – I know I am supposed to just love and desire time with Christ, but not today. Today I wanted to stay warm under my covers, listen to the rain until I feel back to sleep. Sometimes my own life is often too real of a reminder that God’s election of us has NOTHING to do with merit. Anyway, this morning I focused again on 1 Peter 2:21-25. It has been interesting and amazing to get this text into my mind and soul. Pray it over my children. Learn it & pray it as something I would love to see become a realized reality in my life. I finished chapter 3 today in Crazy love. My thought today: The hardest thing in life to believe is that the all knowing, creator of the universe God unconditionally loves me – period. Why do I rush? Why? I think it is time for me to begin to treat life like the French treat food. For me that is a good thought. I’m not sure where and how to do that, because though I just typed that, it will be 10:30pm before I know it, and I will have physically/emotionally/mentally been on the move the whole time.
- 15th – rough day – actually should have been good. I would think when God begins to reveal to you the junk inside of you in order to detox, you would think you would be thrilled, but not so much. In fact it has been very hard not to be depressed, it’s almost as if the spotlight on my sin is so bright, it is overwhelming! God has allowed me to see how thick and constant envy, pride, criticism, wrong value placement, and lack of faith are in my life. He has allowed many things (small things) to happen this week that has brought these sins to the surface…it can almost make one despise oneself! So, what does one do? I guess one has to rely on God to rip this stuff out of oneself! Again, due to all this, the biggest wrestling match in my soul is realizing my ‘goodness’ has nothing to do with His choosing and love – because based off of this week, I wouldn’t even choose myself. In truth, God has shown me this week that I am truly an addict in need of the Holy Spirit to detox me!
- 16th – today was a good day…started out rough, but ended great. I just have a rough time being…sabbathing…I realize I really am addicted to doing/accomplishing, and I get way too much value from it. I have taken a good thing God has given me, and turned it into an idol thing…a good example would be the temple in the Bible.
I guess if I can end this week on one quote it would be from the Puritan Richard Sibbes:
…after conversion we need bruising so that reeds may know themselves to be reeds and not oaks. Even reeds need bruising by reason of the remainder of pride in our nature and to let us see that we live by mercy and by mercy alone…
RECAP: I have ran about 19 miles, burned over 4,000 calories, memorized 1 Peter 2:21-25; spent more time with the family, and ended the week feeling as if I got nothing of value accomplished! Why, God has revealed to me, I am an addict in need the Holy Spirit’s intervention!